Just Another Job
by Sinuo
Summary: A humanstuck work in which Sollux, a computer science major, is offered a job as a professional thief. Shortly after his first heist, a rival gang of thieves is revealed to be in the area, and eager to put his group out of business and into jail. Contains gratuitous Aradia/Sollux and implied Karkat/Terezi, along with major character death. Rated M for violence and coarse language.
1. Chapter 1: From Humble Beginnings

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: **I would like to make a few acknowledgements. First off, a thank you to my friends who pushed me to begin posting this. Secondly, I would like to point out that the name "U. N. Owen" was shamelessly stolen from Touhou, who shamelessly stole it from _And Then There Were None_ by Agatha Christie.

* * *

If one were to look at Sollux Captor just two years ago, nobody would've expected the path he would take. They would have seen a gaunt, topaz-eyed 21 year old nearly through a Computer Science major at the University of New York. They would have seen a young man who, beyond the occasional battle with bipolar irritability, was generally kind, if a bit snide. Nobody could have possibly suspected him of doing anything illegal. Surely his morals would never allow him to even try anything of that sort. But that was where they would be wrong.

It was the second semester of his sophomore year. By that time, Sollux had started a rather successful business. If his fellow students were dissatisfied with their grades, he would— for a price, of course— access the university's grading system and make a few alterations to better reflect how the student viewed their efforts. That soon branched out into other schools through online forums. The best part was that there were no moral implications. He could always choose not to accept a job, and when he did it, he would never change anything past a few letter grades. While it technically wasn't legal, there was never a written law against it, and that was how Sollux slept at night. Soon, enough, however, he would be given an offer that would change everything.

Sollux awoke to the familiar ping of a notification from his laptop. His douchebag of a roommate was undoubtedly still at his "study session" with his latest squeeze, leaving the hacker on his own. _Who would want my help at... Jesus. At 1:00 am? _He pondered as he picked up his laptop. Strangely enough, the username wasn't one of the people on the forums. At least, not one that he recognized. Nonetheless, this "turntechGodhead" was a potential customer and was to be treated as such.

**TA: before you a2k any que2tiion2, it'2 200 for each grade, and an extra 100 iif your school ii2 iivy-league.**

**TG: you really have a thing for the number two dont you captor?**

**TG: so youre only charging 200 for each job?**

**TG: man you need this more than i thought**

Sollux's teeth pressed to his lower lip. He only ever gave out his Pesterchum handle; never his real name. So there two possibilities: either he told someone accidentally, or somebody had found him out. Either outcome warranted the breration he mentally gave himself. _Sound calm. They probably don't even have proof._

**TA: the quiirk 2uiit2 me.**

**TA: what do you want anyway?**

**TG: a pony and a million bucks**

**TA: ii meant from me, diip2hiit.**

**TG: no shit you meant from you**

**TG: its all about you isnt it?**

**TG: damn youre a selfish motherfucker**

**TA: ii'm leaviing.**

**TG: hey calm your tits captor**

**TG: by the way youre not burnt and you didnt tell me your name**

**TG: i just know people**

**TG: so heres the deal**

**TG: the guy i work for is looking for people with certain skills**

**TG: and guess who caught his eye?**

**TA: ii thiink ii can fiigure iit out.**

**TA: keep talkiing.**

**TA: or typiing ii gue22.**

**TG: im gonna cut to the chase**

**TG: anybody with the skills get into the oxford university grading system from off campus and the smarts to not do it for free is pretty damn good**

**TG: but we need to know how good**

**TA: 2o what exactly doe2 that warrant?**

**TA: you want me two change your crediit 2core or somethiing?**

**TG: i want you to get into a bank account and steal at least 5000 dollars**

Sollux had to read the sentence several times before his brain would fully register it, and even then it was insane. This random guy on the internet just demanded that he steal from someone, and a relatively large amount at that! His fingers flew over the keys, hammering out his ever so scathing reply.

**TA: wow fuck that.**

**TG: whats the difference between that and what youre doing now?**

**TA: changiing grade2 for college 2tudent2 ii2nt iillegal la2t ii checked.**

**TG: bullshit**

**TG: you and i both know if anybody could catch you then youd be busted for fraud and then youd be using that brain of yours to think of a way to pick up the soap without bending over**

**TG: tell yourself whatever you want man**

**TG: but youre just as bad as we are**

**TA: who ii2 we?**

**TG: its account 153867 at the royal bank of scotland**

**TG: just let me know when you want to start**

**TG: youll have a week from then to get the money put it in an account and give us access to it**

**TG: later**

**-turntechGodhead ceased pestering twinArmageddons-**

For several minutes, Sollux just stared at his computer screen; his eyes were focused on the account number. Obviously he would think about it. It would be stupid of him not to. So this TG person was giving him some sort of job offer, and this was to be his application. But to steal from someone's account electronically? Sollux liked to think he was above such morally bankrupt practices. Still, his humanity tugged at his virtues, attempting to uncover the greed hidden beneath. 5000 dollars may not be missed if it's a large enough account. He would check. There was no harm in looking, right? He would just look the next day.

After class, Sollux nearly sprinted back to his dorm and opened his laptop. He opened the customer page for the Royal Bank of Scotland and searched for the account number. The account itself was easy enough to access. The owner was dumb enough to link his physical account with his online one, making it a simple matter of getting through the login. It was slightly more difficult than college student profiles, but it was more stimulating if anything. Sollux gave a celebratory pump of his fist as his screen changed from black with green text to the bank website's blue, purple, and white, displaying the phrase "Welcome Mr. Owen." Just below the name of a certain Upton Nathaniel Owen was a small loading symbol. Sollux watched with some excitement as the grey circle spun. It eventually turned into a series of numbers, enough numbers to draw an audible "wow" from the hacker. The account contained exactly $413,612, which would certainly be enough for only a few thousand dollars to go unnoticed. As for the moral implications... well he knew subconsciously that what he did was wrong. Really the only way he got away with it was because he managed to convince himself that it was alright. If he was to grow as a person, he would have to choose path and acknowledge the morality of would never come to understand why, but he would do it.

He closed his browser and opened his Pesterchum to contact TG again. He would be doing this before he could think of all the reasons he shouldn't.

**-twinArmageddons began pestering turntechGodhead-**

**TA: ii'm iin.**

**TA: ii'll do iit.**

**TG: i know**

**TG: one week captor**

**TG: you get caught and its on you**

**-turntechGodhead ceased pestering twinArmageddons-**

Sollux reopened his bowser and cracked his knuckles. He had quite a bit of work to do, and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to do it now.

Getting the money itself was the easy part. The more difficult part was ensuring that nobody could catch Sollux or have any proof that he was in any way related to this theft. He used every proxy he could find, to the point where his connection was being bounced through no less than twenty different proxies. That was for step one. Step two would happen at the same time. He had to open a series of accounts at different banks, then deposit the money in small increments over the course of five days. He would take an extra thousand dollars to supplement the opening of the new accounts. On his final day, he would place all the balances into a final secure account. It was like laundering digital cash and, much to his surprise and mild worry, it was fun. The thrill of breaking into somewhere that others couldn't was only boosted by the satisfaction of his significantly raised account balance. Now it was Sunday, and he would need to check in.

**-twinArmageddons began pestering turntechGodhead-**

**TA: ii'm done.**

**TA: the money ii2 iin my account and there'2 no 2ub2tantiial eviidence two lead anyone back two me.**

**TA: ...**

**TA: hello?**

**-turntechGodhead blocked twinArmageddons-**

**TA: what the FUCK?**


	2. Chapter 2: Great Things Come

That lying bastard! He just made him steal 6,000 dollars from some random customer of some random Scottish bank! What a fucking assho— Another ping came from his laptop to signal that he was once again being pestered.

**-carcinoGenetecist began pestering twinArmageddons**

**CG: CONGRATULATIONS. TG SEEMS TO THINK THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY BE COMPETENT, WHICH I DOUBT, BUT RECRUITING IS HIS JOB.**

**CG: NOW I WANT THE ACCOUNT THAT YOU PUT MY MONEY IN.**

**TA: whoa whoa hold on.**

**TA: your money?**

**TA: ii thought ii wa2 the one who rii2ked my fuckiing neck two get that money that you claiim two be yours.**

**CG: MAYBE IF YOU ACTUALLY KNEW THE WHOLE FUCKING STORY YOU WOULD HAVE AN ARGUMENT, BUT SINCE YOU DON'T KNOW THE WHOLE THING, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE YOU MAKE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE ANY MORE OF A DUMBASS.**

**CG: THAT WAS MY MONEY YOU STOLE, MORON.**

**TA: ...**

**TA: what?**

**TA: you're owen?**

**CG: THEY SHOULD GIVE OUT AWARDS FOR BEING AS DENSE AS YOU ARE.**

**CG: OF COURSE I'M NOT OWEN.**

**CG: BECAUSE THERE IS NO OWEN.**

**CG: TG SAID YOU WERE SMART SO ACT LIKE IT!**

**CG: UPTON NATHANIEL OWEN.**

**CG: THINK ABOUT THAT NAME FOR A SECOND. GET BACK TO ME WHEN YOU REALIZE WHAT A MORON YOU'VE BEEN.**

Sollux pondered the name for several minutes. Upton Nathaniel Owen obviously meant something significant. When people coded names they usually used initials... U. N. O.? Uno? No that's just coincidence. Upton was a fairly uncommon name, so that was likely an initial, but U. Nathaniel Owen still just sounded like a name. Maybe a middle initial... U. N. Owen? U. N... Un Owen. Oh God how could he be so stupid.

**TA: the name ii2 u n owen.**

**TA: or unknown.**

**TA: how the fuck diid you not get caught?**

**CG: BECAUSE APPARENTLY EVERYONE WHO WORKS FOR RBS IS JUST AS DUMB AS YOU ARE AND CAN'T RECOGNIZE A PATTERN WHEN IT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.**

**CG: NOW SEND ME THE DAMN ACCOUNT INFORMATION WITH THE MONEY IN IT.**

**TA: hiidiing 2omethiing by puttiing iit riight iin front of them.**

**TA: clever.**

**-twinArmageddons is sending a file! [here2your$.txt]-**

**CG: THAT'S WHY I'M IN CHARGE, SHIT FOR BRAINS.**

**CG: SO TG SAID THAT YOU GOT THE MONEY AND LEFT NO TRACE.**

**CG: WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO? CONVINCE ME YOU'RE NOT AS MUCH OF A COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME AS I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE.**

**TA: ii'm a computer 2cience major.**

**TA: ii could probably get iinto anythiing ii really wanted two iif ii was giiven enough tiime.**

**TA: ii can program in ~ATH ^CAKE DI2* C++ and java.**

**TA: and ii've been told ii have a head for number2.**

**CG: SO YOU HAVE ALL THE SKILLS OF EVERY GODDAMN NERD ON THE PLANET. CONGRATULATIONS.**

**TA: your word2 are 2o biitiing. ii may ju2t keel over riight now.**

**CG: YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH AND LISTEN.**

**CG: AS I'M SURE TG NEGLECTED TO MENTION, I'M BUILDING A TEAM TO MAKE US ALL RICH.**

**CG: I ALREADY HAVE EVERYONE ELSE I NEED BUT WE STILL NEEDED A HACKER.**

**CG: SO I'M GIVING YOU AN OFFER THAT WOULD BE PHENOMENALLY STUPID OF YOU TO REFUSE.**

**CG: SO IF YOU'RE GOING TO "TAKE THE MORAL HIGH GROUND" AND TRY TO REPORT US THEN IT WOULD BE BETTER TO JUST TELL ME NOW, SEEING AS THERE'S ABOUT AS MUCH CHANCE OF ANY FORM OF AUTHORITY BUSTING US AS THERE IS THAT YOU WILL EVER LOSE EVEN THE SMALLEST SHRED OF YOUR VIRGINITY.**

**TA: well actually there wa2 thii2 one tiime...**

**CG: I WAS BEING SARCASTIC YOU DICKSPONGE!**

**CG: I DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHO WAS INSANE ENOUGH TO LET YOU GET ANYWHERE NEAR THEM NAKED. ALL I NEED TO KNOW IS IF YOU WOULD BE IN ON THIS.**

**CG: AND DON'T PULL THAT OLD FUCKING "I NEED MORE INFORMATION" THING BECAUSE WE BOTH KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT AND YOU ALREADY KNOW YOUR ANSWER. SO YES OR NO, CAPTOR?**

It somewhat bothered Sollux just how right CG was. He did, in fact, have his answer. The thrill and satisfaction of theft was nearly addicting; on top of that, the prospect of getting even more money was a tantalizing one to say the least. He was being given a choice; he could join with these people or finish his last year and a half of studies, then search for a boring job in programming for some giant corporation that would toss him in a cubicle and forget about him until he eventually retired. CG was right once again. It would be stupid for him not to take the offer.

**TA: ii'm iin.**

**TA: tell me what ii need two know.**

**CG: TWO THINGS. FIRSTLY, YOU'RE NOT A STUDENT ANYMORE.**

**TA: ii fiigured that part out.**

**CG: WELL YOUR STUPIDITY HASN'T SHOWED ANY SIGNS OF LESSENING RECENTLY SO I FIGURED I WOULD PLAY IT SAFE AND POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS.**

**TA: ju2t tell me the 2econd thiing. ii have thiing2 two do before ii leave the 2chool.**

**CG: YOU HAVE TO MOVE.**

**TA: what?**

**TA: move two where?**

**CG: HOUSTON. THAT'S OUR CURRENT BASE OF OPERATIONS.**

**TA: you expect me two be able two ju2t get up and go two hou2ton?**

**TA: hold on for a moment and thiink about how 2tupiid that ii2.**

**TA: ii have a famiily at home and ii can't even afford a plane tiicket much le22 a hou2e.**

**TA: 2o unle22 you have a better plan then you can go fuck your2elf.**

**CG: YOU'VE JUST BEEN GIVEN A JOB OFFER FOR TECHNICAL SECURITY AT A SMALL, TEXAS-BASED SOFTWARE COMPANY CALLED SKAIANET. THEY SAW YOUR SCORES AND YOUR PROFESSOR'S COMMENTS AND THEY GOT INTERESTED. IT PAYS WELL. VERY WELL.**

**CG: AS FOR HOUSING AND THE PLANE TICKET, THE TICKET IS COVERED AND WE CAN LOAN YOU MONEY.**

**CG: DON'T EVEN FUCKING TRY TO UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH PLANNING I PUT INTO THIS. IT WILL PROBABLY CAUSE YOUR INFERIOR MIND TO END UP IN A PILE OF THE FLOOR.**

**TA: god you're iin2ufferable.**

**CG: WATCH YOUR DAMN MOUTH. REMEMBER WHO YOU'RE NOW WORKING FOR.**

**TA: ii never 2aiid you werent entertaiiniing.**

**CG: FOR YOUR SAKE I'M GOING TO TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT.**

**CG: HERE'S YOUR TICKET. IT'S UNDER THE OWEN ALIAS. TRY NOT TO FUCK UP TOO HORRIBLY ON THE WAY HERE AND GET CAUGHT.**

**CG: TG WILL MEET YOU AT THE HOBBY AIRPORT AND DRIVE YOU TO US.**

**CG: BY THE WAY YOU CAN KEEP THE MONEY. THINK OF IT AS AN ADVANCE ON YOUR FIRST CUT.**

**CG: SEE YOU HERE.**

**-carcinoGenetecist is sending a file! [ ]-**

**TA: ii thiink your caps lock key ii2 2tuck.**

**CG: IF I WANTED TO TYPE IN LOWERCASE I WOULD TYPE IN FUCKING LOWERCASE!**

**CG: NOW GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND BE READY TO LEAVE.**

**-carcinoGenetecist ceased pestering twinArmageddons-**

Sollux shut his computer with a grunt, but his true emotions could easily be deduced by the smirk across his thin visage. This would certainly be interesting. He would need to do some research into this company. If CG had any brains whatsoever he would have set up at least some fake information on it. As it turned out, CG had gone above and beyond a simple fake job. He had actually gotten Sollux a part-time job at the very real company of Skaianet. They didn't seem to make any products very successfully, but it would be enough to fool nearly anyone into thinking he was legitimate.

The ticket was for a flight the following month, which gave him more than enough time to finish up his studies for the year and to tie up any loose ends. He told his father about his high-paying job offer, receiving some suspicion, but not enough to warrant further investigation. Now that family issues had been taken care of, Sollux would have to begin preparations for his departure, and possibly better equip himself for his new profession using his most recent profit. "Better equip" would come to mean the purchase of not one, but two high-end computers, one for the job and one for personal use. Along with the money he saved from not having to pay rent for the next month, the hacker would have more than enough to get him to Houston. All that was left was to finish his classes, then he would no doubt be rolling in cash within just a few minutes of tapping on a keyboard.


	3. Chapter 3: Kleptomaniac Archaeologist

The newly-found triviality of his studies made the final few classes drag on at a snail's pace for Sollux. The final exams were almost as unbearably easy as the classes he prepared for them in. After what felt like ages, he would finally begin his summer with a new, stimulating, and high-paying profession. He closed his laptop as the plane touched down at the Hobby Airport in Houston. The hacker stepped out into the terminal to retrieve his luggage in the most timely manner possible and report to the rain-slicked white zones outside the entrance. As he stood in the downpour and began to contemplate exactly how the hell CG expected him know which of the hundreds of people was TG, he was approached by a man about his age, clad in jeans, a sport coat, and most notably, a pair of old-looking aviator shades.

"So you're Captor, huh?"

Sollux blinked. Well he certainly did seem to give off the attitude of TG. The accent still somewhat threw him off. "turntechGodhead?"

"Nice glasses. And it's Dave Strider," He replied simply. TG gave Sollux a quick once-over before nodding, seeming satisfied. "I thought you'd be shorter. You gave off the short and whiny asshole vibe over Pesterchum."

"And you gave off the snarky prick vibe. Glad to see you delivered. Nice glasses yourself."

A small smirk formed on Dave's face. "You know it's probably not a great idea to be pulling any sick burns on scary people."

Sollux's eyebrow shot up behind his red lens. "You don't look too scary to me."

"I'm a damn sight scarier than you. I'm like the fuckin' horrible result of Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees spending a romantic night alone with a couple dozen bottles of Jack compared to you," Dave snapped, "Plus I've done things that you should be scared of. So you'd best wise the fuck up, Captor."

He motioned for Sollux to follow him towards an expensive-looking black sedan, which he did with a small smirk at his success in winding the thief up. Dave jumped into the driver's seat and Sollux took his place in the seat beside him. "So what exactly is going on?" Sollux inquired as the car sped towards the highway entrance.

"You got recruited. By me. That's my job. I'm the smooth-talkin' faceman. Basically I do most of our public stuff that isn't handled by Pyrope."

Sollux was mildly surprised by the mention of another name. "There are more of you?"

A dry chuckle was Dave's immediate response. "No. We actually perform heists with two people. You caught us Captor. Damn you're good."

"This is me laughing my ass off. Good job, Strider," Sollux replied.

"Captor I get the idea that you'll be a fucking hilarious addition to the crew. Vantas is gonna love you."

Sollux only gave a grunt in reply. Having gotten his fill of human interaction for a little while, he chose to simply stare out the window and enjoy the calming effect of the mid-June afternoon thunderstorm. The gray skies and dull roar of thunder put him in a state of semi-consciousness, and eventually lulled him to sleep.

"Yo new kid." Never a great way to be woken up. "You know you're adorable when you sleep," Dave quipped. Sollux reluctantly sat up in his seat to see that they were in a less populous part of the city, pulling into the upper levels of a nearly empty and long-forgotten parking garage. Upon seeing the clock on the dashboard, he realized that his rest, however long it may have felt, was in actuality only about half an hour long. Sollux reached for the handle on the door and exited the car with the thief, who led him towards the doors that went out of the complex. "You'll meet up with Vantas and Megido and maybe Serket if she didn't head home already. Karkles'll give you your first month's rent and your new address."

"Wait, you mean I'm renting an apartment? Don't I get like... a car or something?"

Dave chuckled softly and stepped into one of the dirty-looking elevators. "Relax, Captor. You'll be rolling in cash in a few weeks or so. Then you can have a car, a penthouse, and a couple dozen hookers so you can finally pry off that V card that's been firmly welded to you for the past 21 years."

Sollux threw a punch at him that was simply laughed off. An elevator ride and short walk later, the pair arrived in a large warehouse, in which stood two figures amidst a set of tall boxes with various electronic equipment on them. "Yo Vantass! New kid's here."

The shorter of the two stepped forward from the equipment. He was somewhat pale, although not nearly to Sollux's level, and had bright red irises that contrasted dramatically with the mess of black hair that hung around them and stuck out in places. "Well it took you long enough. Idiot."

"You could've picked him up. Ever been to Jimmy John's? Something about wanting a faster sandwich would probably work here with some rewording."

The shorter young man, whom Sollux deduced was CG from his tone, slapped his palm to his forehead. "Strider, I couldn't possibly give any less of a shit about your half-assed sandwich metaphors unless you find some way to break physics so I can literally give a negative fuck," He growled. He then turned his attention to the newest team member. "Alright. Sollux, right? Look. I'm not in the mood to talk, so here's your apartment, I'm Karkat, go help pack up." He handed Sollux a slip of paper with an address written on it and pointed to the other person, who had already begun packing up the equipment. Dave followed Karkat out of the warehouse, insistently explaining his metaphor and exactly why he should now be given a sub sandwich at Karkat's expense.

Sollux shook his head on his way to the third figure. If this didn't work out he would be ruined. Maybe he should have reconsidered...

"Are those two not just hilarious?" asked a female voice.

Sollux looked up to see the obvious fact that the speaker was none other than the woman before him, still busy packing boxes. She stood at about half a head shorter than the hacker, with brown hair falling just to her back and, most notably, a pair of deep carmine eyes. "Did they say something about being professionals over Pesterchum? Because I think they might have been lying." Sollux said dryly as he picked up one of the boxes.

He felt a bit of satisfaction at her laughter. "Try not to worry. Dave and Karkat are both excellent at their jobs. They just like to get on one another's nerves from time to time." She slammed a box shut and held her hand to Sollux. "Well they should have at least told you who everybody was. I'm Aradia Megido."

Sollux took her hand and gave it a quick shake before returning to work, stacking the last few boxes. "Nice to meet someone who isn't a complete ass."

Aradia chuckled softly, picking up a stack of boxes and walking for the exit. "I would withhold that judgement for a while if I was in your place. I do try to be nice though." She smiled at him after he caught up, boxes in hand. "Nice shades."

Sollux took every ounce of willpower he had to keep from blushing. "They're uh... actually prescription."

She laughed again, although it was fairly obvious that it wasn't directed at him. "I think they look cool. Don't tell Dave I said someone that is not him was cool. He would probably fire me," she joked, "So you are the hacker he hired if I'm not mistaken. He says that you did fairly well with the test."

He gave a small smirk. His skill was one of his few traits he could claim to be proud of. "I managed to untraceably steal 7,000 US Dollars from a laptop. I think that's a little better than 'fairly well'." Sollux stopped himself when he realized that he probably sounded like a cocky asshole. "No offense..."

"None taken!" Aradia replied with a bright smile.

"So what does everyone... do here?" The question had been on his mind for some time. He had already deduced that Karkat was in charge of their group, but he had yet to figure out what Dave or Aradia's roles were, and who this Serket person even was.

She tilted her head up and to the right. "Well Karkat is our leader. He does a lot of the planning and makes sure that nobody... oh how does he put it? 'Finds themselves waist deep in shit'. Dave, Vriska, and I are all infiltrators, but that's more of a general position. Dave is also our con man—"

"Which is why you have him talk to the new kids. Can't risk them deciding that it's a bad idea to steal," Sollux interjected.

"Exactly!" There was that smile again. "I'm usually the one who figures out how to bypass security, and then Vriska opens the safes. There is also Terezi. She acts as our lawyer if we ever fail to clean up our evidence sufficiently."

"Okay so you guys needed me why exactly?"

"Well because we are making progress! We started with just Karkat, Terezi and Dave robbing local banks, then when they contacted me and Vriska, we started taking from bigger places. Now that you are with us, the sky is the limit!"

Sollux couldn't help but match her almost incessant smiling. For a professional thief she certainly had a bright personality.

"That is of course, unless you die."

"Wait, what?!"

The smile seemed less appropriate at this point. "Well you could get shot in the head and die, you could be thrown in prison and get shanked and die, you could be too close to an explosion and die... it's just so... interesting!"

Sollux blinked as he set the boxes down behind the black van parked in the garage. "Uh... yeah. Interesting." Okay so the cute thief girl had a weird obsession with death. He supposed he could get past that.

"So where did Dave find you?"

He snapped out of his temporary stupor. "I was a Computer Science student. University of New York. He probably found me through a... business I ran. I changed people's grades for money. So... what about you?"

Aradia gained a look of nostalgia and set off into her explanation as she pulled the rear doors of the van open and set her boxes inside. "I was an intern with an archeological team in Peru. We were in the dig site at Machu Picchu. That is where I picked up my skill with avoiding security. It came from a knack for spotting little details. Finding a tattoo on a corpse is shockingly similar to finding an infrared emitter in a wall. It really is all the same concept! Then it's as simple as finding another way around it, or having someone disable it. And that is why your job is so important."

Sollux set his pile of boxes neatly in the back of the van beside hers, nodding at her explanation. That was why she was so calm about death. She'd had experience with it. "So how will I know what's happening with who? I don't have any contact information for the rest of the team."

Aradia smirked, shutting the van doors and walking around to the driver's seat. "If you wanted my number you could have just asked, Sollux."

Every ounce of willpower wasn't enough to keep his blushing at bay this time.

And there was that smile again. "Relax, Sollux! I was only joking. My Pesterchum handle is apocalypseArisen. I will send you everyone's information over that tonight." Aradia climbed into the driver's seat and looked out the window. "Want a ride?"

Of course I do! By the way, are you busy tonight? "No thanks. I'll just take a cab or something," Sollux replied, followed by a mental self-scolding for being such a nervous idiot.

Aradia nodded and waved out the window at him. "Goodbye, Sollux!"

Suddenly feeling defeated and discouraged, Sollux waved as Aradia pulled out of the garage. "Yeah. Bye. God damn it."


End file.
